I like that term "kicking ass". In fact it is the title of one of my favorite movies. I do believe however, the hero gets his ass kicked almost as much as he kicks the bad guys asses!
In my childhood years, my brothers would hold down my little sister and myself, strap on the boxing gloves, goad us on and we would pound on each other until she won. I never won. It really wasn't my thing, but my little sister when she got going, as little as she was/is, could take down an elephant. Eventually she took down a brother or two as well. I was just the "gangley" older sister who'd rather giggle than fight.
Until my pubescent years that was. Around 14-16, I discovered rage. I didn't kick a lot of ass but when I did, I lost it. Once the black smoke cleared, the kid who had been part of a gang attacking my sister, was eating my boots, and once or twice I remember it was my little sister that instigated my rage. To me this wasn't "kicking ass", it was uncontrollable rage and it seemed dangerous to me that I could be capable of it. So I stopped. I am tenacious like that.
I love the game of Chess as well. I have never played well, however I learn by watching and somehow, I learned that the game of Chess reflects the game of Life.
For decades after, I let people walk all over me. I laughed about it and I learned to hide my anger so deep that eventually I didn't care how anyone treated me anymore, but I watched and I learned, until the day I had to fight back. I saw a look in my daughter's eyes and knew, if I did nothing, she would have to endure similar decades of humiliation, perhaps even a lifetime.
"What an insane concept for an Irish lassie to stand without rage!"
Years of endurance had taught me how to contain the rage and calculate the steps required to strategically maneuver the dangerous element away from my children and myself. Sometimes you only have one chance. ( I know that sounds like a rap song from Eminem!) The years of endurance had also taught me to corral my rage and utilize it at the exact moment required.
"Funny how strong and determined an Irish lassie can stand in the defense of her children!!!"
Calculated rage makes you strong. "Oh the things I could do, the things I did destroyed another human's soul." To me this is NOT "kicking ass". To me this is sad. Any man who would take a woman to the point where she must stand to defend her children, or let her soul die in weakness, does not deserve the dignity of having his "ass kicked". In fact he should run, like a mange coyote, tail tucked, whimpering into the night. Never to return. To this day, the coyote song to me is that of the weak soul pitying their own well deserved wounds. This was a calculated Chess game of Life.
Upon "winning", I didn't celebrate. This was not a glorified, dignified victory! This was a sad necessity. So I hid. Like so many women before me, I hid in shame.
"No Irish lassie should ever hide but should stand glorious with strength and dignity with a twinkled laugh in her mysterious eyes!" (most days I hear my father whisper all these words in my ear....all the way from heaven)
For the next decade, my children witnessed my successes and failures, my strengths and weaknesses and those persons who tried to humiliate, eventually slink away like that symbolic coyote. And I witnessed theirs. As a true family, even with only me as a parent, my children and I grew together. Together we learned our strengths as a family unit and our individual weaknesses that required improvements. Probably the most important life lesson we learned together, is firstly,our ability to acknowledge and respect the true worth of every being. And secondly, that without affecting the glory of our worth, stand and face those who would attempt to humiliate and degrade our well being. Stand, calculate our next move with the strength of corralled rage and firmly "kick their ass".
I might be kinda tall for a girl and some have labelled me intimidating these days, but I am really just the gangley girly that would rather giggle than fight. But today, there is nothing inside of me that will endure humiliation ever again. I havn't been walked on since that day I stood, without eventually achieving a calculated maneuver in this chess game called "life"and "kicking ass" is really just a metaphor for ensuring our gratified happiness in a world of multitudes of appreciated champions and undignified pitiful losers.
In the movie "kick ass" Big Daddy teaches "Hit Girl" to take a bullet and bounce back with a calculated and championing rage. These people are not superheros with special powers. And although they are simply actors in a movie, they teach us all that champions are everyday heros who have endured and who have watched and learned how to stand with calculated strength and kick the ass of each damned wile-y-coyote who just keeps coming back for more "kick ass" !!! V xo
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